Be Your Own Best Friend

Shadow whispers danced across my hands one winter day while I sat typing at my desk.

I looked out the window to find the source of this dreamy disco light. The sun had broken through the gray and was lighting up tiny snowflakes.  They swirled like dust caught in a golden-hour glow.

My first thought was to grab the camera.

My next thought brushed the first aside—the lens could not capture this interplay of elements. Instead, I simply leaned back in my chair and watched the delicate coincidence of sunshine and snowfall.

There was no need to share this rare moment to make it powerful.

I am one who craves human connection.  I think most folks are downright charming.

I am in awe of my friends and grateful for their generosity in sharing their lives with me.

With that said, I also think there is great wisdom in working hard to become your own best friend.

At first, this notion might sounds narcissistic or lonely, but becoming your own best confidant, coffee date and cheerleader really means cultivating stillness and confidence.

Being your own best friend means allowing for quiet moments to witness the world and savor it without distraction. It means finding joy in funny memories and smiling even if strangers wonder about your own inside joke.

Being your own best comrade requires presence—the same you’d give a dear friend during a long overdue catch-up. How are you? Do you need rest, fresh air, a long stretch, chocolate?

Being your own best mate requires listening and kind words. It means taking time to really connect.

How can you build this unique friendship? Start by taking yourself on a date.

Turn off your phone and go window shopping, browse a bookstore, catch a film, visit a gallery.

The key is to enjoy your own company. Refrain from checking messages or calling anyone. Instead, listen to your own thoughts. Ask yourself get-to-know-you questions. What painting did I like and why? What did I think about the end of the movie? How do an author's words move me?

This approach may sound silly or uncomfortable at first, but when you take time to cultivate a relationship with yourself and learn to love your own company, you begin to notice small daily wonders—like sunshine and snowfall—that make life lovely.

These moments become small affirmations that no matter where you are and no matter who is not with you, you can still find wonderful companionship all on your own.

This post was originally published on Holstee.